Specks of Light

"Gordon B Hinkley often alluded to the turning point in his life.

2008-04-06T11:18:00.001-07:00

"This week has been mine.

"Training has been the biggest responsibility and greatest blessing I have received. The trial of my faith pushed me to the edge.

"This transfer I have been privilaged to focus on the Atonement. The Atonement is so deep and powerful, so loving and sincere that I will never fully comprehend its true nature. However the blessings of the Atonement are clear.

"I know that my Redeemer lives. I know that this is His work and that it goes forward, not because of me, but in spite of me. Every action, thought, word that proceeds out or into my being is focused on the Savior and what he has done for me and my eternal debt. These two years are often described as tithing for my first 20 but I know that they can and never will repay my debt. This is my strength and motivation. My faith and hope.

"New Missionary Training was this week in Sydney. Elder Yip and I made our usual trip to Canberra and were blessed to take the train from Canberra to Sydney. I love the train.

"I learned so much more about myself and who I really am at the training. I have a renewed sense of duty and love that I pray will never leave me. It makes me relish the rules, the guidelines and the agency. I know that when applied to myself the word 'sacrifice' does not exist; only the opportunity to seek blessings.

"I have given up all things that could inhibit my focus on my purpose and the Savior. I no longer write to any but my family. I have seen the blessings. I know they are real.

"It is such a comfort to do the Lord's work His way. I know that if I do it my way I will fail. I have had the comment from other missionaries 'you have great faith' or 'you follow the spirit so closely.' In fact I know that I am so far away from where I can be in my spirituality I laugh. I know that if I ever disregard the spirit I will fail. You cannot do a spiritual work a worldly way. What comfort it brings me to rely on the Lord.

"This week I made doughnuts for seventeen families of both less active members and investigators with a spiritual thought on the sweetness of hearing the word of the Lord (Ps. 104:34) to invite them to church. I love to cook, but only for others.

"For today and tomarrow the zone leaders will be in Merimbula conducting trade-offs. I am very excited as I have never been on a legitimate trade-off. Normally you have them at least once a transfer however Merimbula is 4 hours away from the closest missionaries. It is such a blessing to have the responsibility of being the Lords representatives for such a large area and for so many people.

"We missed our train back to Canberra Tuesday morning. No worries, I found another hours later. In that time we thought we'd go experiance downtown Sydney. I love it. It is so fast paced and exciting. It truely is sister-cities with New York. We walked by the AMP Tower and down to the Opera House. I was excited, not only for my surroundings but for the beautiful spirit of the people. Sydney is thriving. We had several people street contact us, asking us who we were and what we stood for.

"I love you all. I am so deeply grateful for the Christlike influence you have had on me. Although I often exercised my agency at times that atrophied my spiritual development, I always knew that my family was a stronghold. It is very easy and delightful to share how the Gospel can bless the most basic unit of the church and society. I see the problems families today have and know that true happiness comes when the family is predicated on the gospel. I know this because of you. Thank you.

"I feel as though I stutter when I write these emails because I have had so many experiances and miracles mingled with the epiphanies of faith.

"Thank you and rejoice."

-Elder Madson

"All is well (dated 5 March 2008)

2008-03-09T14:50:00.000-07:00

"Taking note from 'The Seven Habits' I have decided to act and ponder with the end result in mind. This is a focus of a mission. I realize that every thought, act, and word from myself should be pointed towards becoming the person my heavenly father wants me to be."

"The Days are Flying by (dated 27 February 2008)

2008-03-09T14:21:00.000-07:00

"The second transfer is almost over. This means that I am almost done training and Elder Johnson will be moved (in all likelihood). He has spent his entire mission in Merimbula (seven and a half months. Few missionaries know him -- because of our distance and seclusion -- but many know of him: the elder stuck down in paradise.

"We have been engaged in an abundance of plentiful and productive service. From building goat pens to wielding the hedge trimmer of power we have been busy.

"From these endeavors I have been enlightened. Always ask 'what did I learn' and 'what will I do.' Life is a time of learning and growing. Lessons are taught. We have only to ask, seek, and knock. Experience is of the most value.

"We meet the most interesting people while tracting. I love speaking with the delightful crazy people. There are a lot of them in Eden for some odd reason. My goal with every encounter is to leave them more informed and with a good impression. No matter where you go in the world or in the mission these people will be there, I'm glad I get along with them.

"There is never a dull moment in the work, but I do not have much to report that is new. We organized a family home evening/ping pong night for our investigators and the branch. Every Thursday I have the privilege of being humbled.

"Table tennis is a huge sport in Australia. They have an odd taste for sport. You either like cricket or rugby; tennis or golf and if you like soccer you don't like anything else. There are even some dissensions in the rugby group: Australian rules versus Union -- even though the majority can't explain the difference, but they know what they like. The people are very passionate for their sports.

"I am learning how to make chocolate mousse. I call it the 'strong companionship elixir.' I also love to make googala. Its like a fried dumpling or donut (I learned this from a Tongan/Indian family), but I add more sugar and then coat them in a melted butter and sugar glaze. It makes your heart hurt, which is a good sign as far as us Americans are concerned.

"The work is great and the people are wonderful -- even if they do say 'aluminium.'"

"This week has been one of the best periods of my mission.

2008-02-15T16:23:00.000-08:00

"We were privileged to have a baptism this week. This is the first baptism Merimbula has had in the last four years.

"Darat Jereongwong is the strongest person I have seen, and the spirit was so strong as she witnessed to her Heavenly Father that she wanted to be washed of her sins and take His name upon her.

"Merimbula does not have a font, and the closest one is three hours away in Canberra. We had the baptism in a serene location, Bournda Lagoon. The scene was straight out of the Book of Mormon; I could almost see Alma at the Waters of Mormon as Elder Johnson immersed Dara in the warm water.

"This baptism is a miracle.

"The date was very hard to set and changed three or four times over a period of two years, but this time Dara remained concrete in her decision of February 4, 2008. President McMaster drove all the way from Sydney to interview Dara the Saturday before.

"In the glimmering morning, we sat with Dara sharing our testimonies and our confidence in her. President arrived -- early -- and took Dara into the a room we prepared for them next to the chapel. Elder Johnson and I sat in the seats of the chapel in quiet anticipation for quite some time.

"When Dara emerged from the room, she was glowing, and there were glistening tears on her cheeks, but most astonishing was her new found confidence. She was so excited to be baptized and began talking about attending stake conference on Sunday in Canberra -- even though it's hard for her to make it to church.

"The morning of the baptism, we awoke to the phone ringing at 5 a.m. As Elder Johnson spoke to the caller in hushed tones, a different sound began to take the stage, the pouring rain thundering outside the window. No doubt the phone call would be either Dara or a member of the leadership inquiring about the circumstances.

"Elder Johnson hung up the phone, and we sat silent in the dark. The stillness was shattered several more times by worried members, questioning leadership, and a determined Dara:

"'Dara, its pouring outside.'

"'I know.'

"'What do you feel we should do?'

"'I'm getting wet anyway, so if the branch is okay, then I'm ready!'

"This was not the response we expected from our previously doubting, timid, and shy investigator. Not only was she ready and willing, but her only concerns were for the people around her. We systematically called all of the baptism's attendees and informed them that we will be having the baptism at 8:30 AM at Bounda Lagoon, as scheduled, and we encouraged all to be there.

"What a turn out! Over twenty people from our branch came to show Dara their support. Elder Johnson, dressed in white, walked with Dara during our hike to the lagoon. I was accompanied by Elders Neilsen and Nielson (not companions. Elder Neilsen was the one who set the sturdy date with Dara and was Elder Johnson's trainer. The day before, President McMaster denied all the missionaries who asked to attend the baptism except for Elder Neilsen.

"We stood there as a legacy of teaching. It rarely happens that you are in a the same area with both your trainer and his trainer, and we all taught Dara and attended her baptism. How perfect.

"The rain continued to pour as Elder Johnson and Dara stepped into the warm, gray water. Fog and steam hung between the brilliant green foliage. Elder Neilsen and I stood near as witnesses. Nothing could have been more beautiful. This was the day I truly felt I was a missionary.

"This Sunday at stake conference, I have the wonderful opportunity to baptize Dara by fire. Not only will the stake president probably be there, but Elder Sybrowskie of the Australian Area Presidency may be there as well. My nerves are strung high and are only calmed by the peaceful assurance that the Lord will not allow Dara's salvation to be in jeopardy because of a disjointed prayer of mine. I am so excited and humbled to be able to give Dara one of the most precious gifts she can receive in this life.

"All is well and the work is great."

"One of my many lessons learned this week (for Mom)"

2008-02-01T07:02:00.001-08:00

As we drive beneath the moonlit sky,
Where did the day go? How did it pass by?
We talk about the weather, and why we're getting fat.
We speak with excited voices about our new investigator Matt.
As the day dies out we discuss this, that, and the other;
But what I want to tell you is to listen to your mother.
Before my mission those months ago,
My mother dearest, who loves me so,
Asked me to rake the leaves and clean the gutter.
At such a request my heart would shudder.
"It will prepare you for your mission," she would often say,
But I did not believe her, not until today.
All those chores I tried to shirk
I am doing now as missionary work.
It's the way I am being humbled
For all those times I sorely mumbled.
This lesson you will find
Is what weighs most upon my mind.
Gratefully I thank my mother
Who taught me always to "love one another,"
Imploring me with all her might
Like Anti-Nephi-Lehis to never fight;
To get along and play nice
And seek for virtue, not for vice.
I've gone away to preach Down Under;
These thoughts I have shout truth asunder.
Driving the long road home this night,
It's crystal clear that MOM WAS RIGHT.

"This week has been very productive and eventful.

2008-02-01T06:53:00.000-08:00

"Elder Cook came to speak to the mission, and because Elder Johnson and I are as far south as you can go, we were to be the only two missionaries not attending. We didn't plan on going, but we received a phone call giving us the go ahead. Six hours up to Sydney; six hours back. However, in light of the passing of President Hinckley, Elder Cook had to return to Salt Lake. We were privileged to hear from Elder Hilbig. What a powerful speaker!

"After this transfer, Elder Johnson will have been in Merimbula seven and a half months. This is where he was trained. We were both surprised and delighted that he was not moving.

"I was the principle speaker in sacrament meeting last Sunday. Thirty minutes on charity. I have never been so humbled and excited over a topic before. It was a joy. The congregation seemed to enjoy the talk.

"This Sunday we taught Gospel Principles and Primary. What a... blessing.

"January 26 was Australia Day. Everybody spends the day with their families, so it was the perfect opportunity to do missionary work. The first baptism in Merimbula is about to occur on Monday, February 1st. We do not have a baptismal font -- the nearest one is Canberra -- so we are blessed to be able to hold the service at a beautiful location: Bournda Lagoon.

"Speaking with the other missionaries, Merimbula really is the coveted area. This puts the pressure on to make it the best area it can become.

"People will always remember who we are, not what we say."

"This Week Has Been Devoted to Service.

2008-01-13T13:54:00.000-08:00

It is summer here and a tourist town. The population triples during the next month, and almost all of the income for the year is made. Most people are very busy in the area until the end of February, so service is our alternative.

"Potoroo's Palace is a frequent stop for us. We never know what work we will do, but no doubt it will be memorable. On Monday we went to help Alexandra, the owner, and she took us in the back of a 'ute,' which was filled with old clothes the Salvation Army couldn't sell, up the side of a mountain.

"'Up' is an understatement: The angle of the truck at some points was over 50 degrees, and Alexandra has no perception of speed or danger. I took a couple of branches to the face; it made the trip more interesting. Upon arriving at the top of the secluded mountaintop, we unloaded the clothes. The clothes are used to terrace the cliff side so that, one day, it will be passable.

"Clothes are a breeding ground for spiders. This is how I learn the Australian wildlife: through experience. Everything's bigger here and more extreme. If a spider isn't deadly, it'll be huge (like the huntsman in my closet). The grasshopper here is neon green and has a deadly hypodermic stinger. If it moves, run. The locals don't help when they warn you of animals that don't exist, i.e. albino sea ferrets and drop bears. Elder Johnson and I are however looking for a Red Belly Black Snake to kill. It'll make a great belt.

"Yesterday, we went out to the bush to do service for Ken and Susie, a Seventh Day Adventist family. They built their home from the materials on their land and believe in 'roughing it.' Ken won't get a job, so they make their living by selling Susie's curry at the market.

"'I love using a pick ax,' I told them, so they put me to work breaking rock in the trenches for seven hours. The hot Australian sun doesn't make the work hard -- Susie's cooking does. She's from India and feeds you like its your last meal. When we arrived, they sat us down at a table and began to bring out food. Her cousins and family were there, so we assumed that the huge portions of spicy and savory Indian food was for everybody.

"Wrong.

"Not only is everything for you, but they watch you eat it. No tucking peas under your plate here. When you can no longer move and think that you're soon going to pass out, like clockwork susie insists, 'You need more.' While you are outside working hard, the food continues to arrive. I gained weight doing the hardest work I've ever done.

"I did get her recipe for googalla, which is like an Indian donut.

"There are a lot of rich people in the area we fellowship that want nothing to do with the church. So we play tennis with them on their private courts. Elder Johnson is a big tennis player, so they love him. We get invites back based solely on his racket skills. They give me directions, but I don't listen. I swing the racket like a baseball bat; if I get good, they may lose interest."

"New Years Eve,

2008-01-13T13:46:00.000-08:00

when I went to change and get ready for bed, my hand froze as I reached into the closet. I came face to face with a spider the size of my hand.

"I instantly was transformed from a 19 year old elder to a 12 year old sister, and I set a new land speed record in my escape. Elder Johnson and I returned to photograph our foe and take him captive. We quickly emptied a tin of Danish Biscuits and attacked with reckless abandon. We trapped him. He's still in our kitchen in the tin. We're waiting until he dies and then we're going to stretch him out on a dinner plate and take a picture of him.

"The spider in the bathroom, still unidentified, remains our tenant. He may have to go soon; there are ants here too, and he's not carrying his weight.

"Tonight we went to Haycock point and had a picnic with some church members and some investigators. The waves were crashing over some volcanic rack we hiked on, and kangaroos were hopping across the beach as the waves rolled in. I learned how to play rugby 'footy.' What a day. You can't make this stuff up. The wind almost knocks you over.

"I had my first 'barby.' They throw every kind of meat on the barbecue you can think of and make you eat it all. In the Polynesian wards, you eat even more.

"New missionary training was great. President McMaster, Sister McMaster, and the sisters all gave lessons. Then we headed to the mission home for a testimony meeting and -- what else? -- a barby.

"I got to spend the night at the assistants new flat. They're great guys. We missed our train to Canberra, so I got to know them really well when they drove us down to the ACT (Australian Capital Territory). Sydney is scary, huge, ghetto and crazy."

"Merimbula is as beautiful as ever.

2008-01-02T19:16:00.000-08:00

"It is peak tourist season so the population tripled after Boxing Day. I had new missionary training in Sydney last week. I traveled up to Canberra and stayed the night there. Then we took a train up through the country to Sydney. I love trains. Central Station gives any international airport a run for their money. It's multiple stories and confusing. I loved it. You meet the funnest people on trains.

"I fell in love with Sydney. It is so busy and crazy. It is huge. Hopefully, I will get to serve in the inner city someday. It is the polar opposite of Merimbula. I just wanted you to know that I am alright. I just sent the other letter so I dont want to spoil it for you. I will right next week with some news that will actually be interesting.

"I love being a missionary and although it is a trial of my faith it is the only thing that I should be doing right now."

Andrew's been in Australia for a week now,

2007-12-25T22:34:00.001-08:00

and he's doing great.

Missionaries telephone home every Christmas and Mother's Day, so Andrew arose at 4:00 a.m. Sydney time to chat with us -- his parents, grandparents, and his older brother (me).

Before receiving his mission call, Andrew dreamed of the ghetto. A family friend of ours served in inner city New Jersey, and Andrew is always riveted by stories of his street adventures in the Lord's service. Today, however, we learned that Andrew has been stationed in Merimbula, a ritzy resort town on Australia's Sapphire Coast.

Check out these stunning snapshots from sapphirecoast.com. It's not exactly ghetto, but Andrew loves serving there.

He and his trainer, who is only four and a half months in the field himself, are being richly blessed in their efforts. In January, one of their investigators will enter the waters of baptism. Because the Merimbula branch meets in an old Pizza Hut building, their investigator will be baptized in the ocean.

Andrew also shared the following miracle:

Missionaries often take the message of the Restoration from door to door. The rejection level in such tracting is high, yet behind the first door Andrew knocked on was a family receptive to the Gospel message. He and his companion are ecstatic to teach them.

As a family, we express our love for Andrew, our gratitude for his diligent service, and add our testimony to his that the fullness of the Gospel has been restored to the earth. We greatly look forward to Andrew's next email.

"After the first few days of the MTC,

2007-12-25T09:12:00.000-08:00

time begins to race. Days blend together; days seem like weeks, and weeks seem like days. I have labeled this phenomenon the "SDS." As the spirit envelops your life, time does't hold its value quite the same. Your mind is occupied with joy, not sadness; diligence, not sloth; and obedience, not homesickness.

"You'll be glad to know that my longing for home has been minimal. When asked if I have been homesick, I tell them I was girl sick. I was sick of girls, so I came here. The odd sense of humor you gain between these ancient walls, concrete floors, and hollow aluminum beds that make up my experience.

"Spiritual Development Syndrome (SDS) is the result of losing yourself. It's not that any day in the MTC is bad; it's that the next day is so much better. Constantly, my testimony strengthens and my desire, my passion for service. As we learn and teach the principles of the gospel, the process becomes clear; you tell what you know is true.

"I find it so easy for Elder Beckert and I to teach the first lesson. Our compatibility and our shared internal desperation to make peoples' lives better through faith in our Savior Jesus Christ makes for a formula unrivaled. We are complimented on our teaching ability, but it is pride that will destroy our message.

"I personally have to study humility and thank the Lord for his constant influence in my life. This is the key to success: "I can of my own self do nothing."

"I used to be terrified of the future, especially college. But if I were to work half as hard there as I do now, there is nothing that could falter my potential with the gospel on my side.

--Elder Andrew Madson

"Everything in the MTC is wonderful,

2007-12-06T18:57:00.000-08:00

but the field is going to be so much better.

"We are all so excited to finally begin the Lord's work and teach real investigators. Our branch presidency is constantly reminding us that it is not uncommon for wards to go on splits up to five nights a week. That means that, your first night there, you could very possibly have to go out with a priest and teach a lesson. I would like that. I love to teach. It becomes easier as you go -- not because you have the lesson memorized -- but because the more you study, the more ingrained the doctrine is in your testimony, so all you have to do is communicate what you know.

"Class for fourteen hours a day just flies by. It feels like I've been here a day but have grown ten years spiritually.

"Tuesdays and Sundays are amazing. Tuesday is the night we have a devotional by a Seventy or Apostle. This last Tuesday, we had Elder Christiansen of the Second Presidency of the Seventy. This Tuesday, we will probably have an apostle, as it is two weeks before Christmas.

"I do have to play the piano on Sunday. Last Sunday, I informed them that I could play, and they asked what I can play. I confidently answered that I could play any of the hymns -- which is true, if given fifteen minutes to look it over -- and they seemed excited. Sunday came, and I had three hymns picked out The meeting started, and the counselor of the presidency announced hymns that I hadn't even fathomed playing. The Spirit must have guided because there is no way I played very well. The next day I did a personal study on humility.

"Wednesday is my preparation day in the MTC, but I will have only one more before I leave [to the Australia Sydney South mission]. I... would not want to be doing anything else. I know what I am doing is what the Lord wants, and that makes it so much easier. Perhaps I will get homesick at twenty-two months, but so far all is well. 'I can of my own self do nothing.'"

--Elder Andrew Madson

Quotes from the MTC:

"If you can't be good, be good at it."

"It takes a great meeting to beat not meeting."

"Be the missionary that your mother thinks you are, and you can move mountains."

"The secret to success in missionary work is WORK."

The Road to Wales

2007-11-06T19:48:00.000-08:00

Anticipation-the call, the mission, the large manilla envelope addressed to Elder Andrew Colin Madson. Just like when mom drops your middle name: you know it's serious.

A letter:

A map:

A long road to Wales:

A REALLY long road:

2007-11-06T19:17:00.000-08:00

The hammer throbs,
Creating beauty out of pressure with
Raw sincerity
Beaten down by expectations of important
Strangers.
Heated…
Then cooled in a plastic world;
Icy sensations of false security.
Uniquely fabricated
Just like everyone else.

Edifice Complex

2007-11-06T19:14:00.001-08:00

Waves of numbness fall sweetly upon ears
As darkness falls within catacombs I call my own,
Calling sweetly, caressing the depths of my mind,
Pulling gently, tugging at my core.
Combing for thoughts I cannot find,
Obscurity, Intriguing and inspiring
Nothing toys with my mind,
Nothing coos sweetly in madness,
Nothing ears through my soul in sanity,
Who? Is the only question transcending consciousness
Who?
Who?
Hiding within the stirs of a troubled soul
This modern Coliseum of the catacombs of memory
Crowded with the screams of nightmare,
Comforted with hollow empty eyes;
Voice's waves crash.

Lost silence washes over
Echoes…
Alone in a circle of friends
Crying mute rage they cannot see.
Refining tears cloud the skies in pools of confusion and misery
Hidden behind the shadow’s mask:
Why?
Deepest misgivings
Find me curled inside darkness, surrounded.
Illumination:
In flight from the raven
Reveals a sad
Authentication

2007-11-06T19:09:00.000-08:00

Wandering about in ethereal nothing
Releases little joys that whisper in the night to
Ember.
Permeating the clouds the
Lesser light to rule the night
Fights in pitch-
Heaped over.
Faint embers torch beneath the sky,
Ablaze in
Light's soft echoes,
A match for the lovers.